EncartaQueen
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(14/4/05 4:50 pm)
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Grave Diggers and Pie Charts PG-13 2/3
There's the Rub: Chapter One
(Rory opens the door. Jess is holding a box of food)
JESS: Delivery.
RORY: What are you doing here?
JESS: Well, Luke figured since you’re along tonight that maybe you wouldn’t have any food in the house, so he sent over a care package.
RORY: I don’t need a care package. I ordered food from Sandeep’s.
JESS: Really? Planning on burning down the house afterwards?
RORY (warningly): Jess...
JESS: The only way to kill the smell.
(RORY looks at him and laughs a little.)
JESS (He lifts an eyebrow): What?
RORY: My mom says the same thing.
JESS (while nodding): Uh huh.
RORY: It’s just, you guys are so alike and yet you hate each other. It’s just…weird.
JESS: Yeah well, opposites attract.
(They make eye contact and RORY quickly looks at the ground.)
RORY: Yeah...
(They stand still for a second. RORY tips back on her heals. JESS clears his throat.)
JESS: Are you going to invite me in?
(He gestures towards the house with the box.)
RORY (while blushing slightly): Oh yeah, sorry.
(JESS enters the house. RORY follows awkwardly.)
JESS: So, Where should I put this?
RORY: Well. . .
JESS: Kitchen?
RORY: Um. . .sure.
(cut to kitchen)
RORY: God, how much food is in there? This could feed twelve.
JESS: Excuse me, I’ve seen you eat.
RORY: Fine, six.
JESS: Yeah, well, he wanted you taken care of. He wasn’t sure how long your mom was gonna be gone for.
RORY: Just tonight.
JESS: Oh, he didn’t know that.
RORY (skeptically): Yeah he did, my mom told him this morning.
JESS (unfazed): Well, maybe he forgot.
RORY (unconvinced): Maybe, or...
JESS: Or what?
RORY (while smiling): Or maybe you wanted to come over.
(They make eye contact. This time RORY doesn’t look down.)
JESS: Maybe.
(He continues to look at her. She fidgets slightly and pulls at her shirt sleeves.)
JESS (casually): So, aren’t you gonna eat?
RORY: Eventually.
JESS: It gets cold fast.
RORY: I can heat it up.
JESS: Reheated French fries really suck.
RORY: Hm, they do suck.
JESS: Yeah, so, eat.
RORY: Okay, I will.
(She pauses, looking at him expectantly.)
RORY: You’re still standing there.
JESS: I know. You didn’t give me a tip.
RORY (smartly): Always wear a seatbelt.
JESS: Very clever.
RORY: I thought so.
JESS: But I’m afraid I really do need a tip.
RORY: You want money?
JESS: No, I’ll take a fry though.
RORY: Okay, yeah, have as much as you want.
JESS: Okay, great. (takes off jacket)
RORY: What are you doing?
JESS: Getting ready to eat.
RORY: You’re staying?
JESS: Didn’t you just invite me?
RORY: No, I -.
JESS: No, you told me to have all I wanted. That sounded invitation-like.
RORY: You wanna stay here and eat?
JESS: Beats being at Luke’s.
RORY: But – .
PARIS (walks in from living room): I can’t find my flashcards.
JESS: I didn’t know you had company.
RORY: This is Paris. We were just studying.
JESS: Huh.
PARIS: Don’t worry, I was just leaving. If you find my flashcards, call me, okay?
RORY: No.
PARIS: What?
RORY: Stay for dinner.
PARIS: But I thought you wanted to be alone tonight.
RORY: Well there’s been a change of plans. (Jess looks at her strangely and she continues quickly.) Come on, We’ve got a ton of food, and we can go over the notes more later.
PARIS: You’re sure?
RORY: Positive.
PARIS: Okay, but if you’re just doing this so that I’ll get really sick, spend all day throwing up and fail the test, I’ll kill you.
RORY: Duly noted.
PARIS (semi-excitedly): Great, can I borrow your phone?
RORY: It’s by the door.
(Paris walks away)
JESS: Interesting.
RORY: What is?
JESS: You think we need a chaperone?
RORY: No...I don’t.
JESS (unconvinced): Uh huh.
RORY (louder): I don’t!
JESS: What’re you so afraid of?
RORY: I’m not afraid.
JESS: Could’ve fooled me.
(They stare at each other for a second until Paris’s voice is heard from the hall.)
PARIS: (on phone) Hola, es Paris. ¿Puedo comer en la casa de Rory? (pause) No necesito practicar ajedrez! (longer pause) Bien, seré casero pronto. (She hangs up.)
(PARIS reenters the kitchen.)
PARIS (slightly depressed): I can’t stay.
RORY (trying to hide her nervousness): Oh, why not?
PARIS (while grabbing her books): Apparently my Nanny was left with a strict schedule, my parent's orders. Studying time ends promptly at six and is followed closely by chess practice. I’m already five minutes late.
RORY: Well...
PARIS: Well...?
RORY: I guess I’ll see you at school then.
PARIS: Yeah, have fun. (She exits. JESS shakes his head and laughs slightly.)
RORY (defensively): What?
JESS (sarcastically): Were here alone, I feeling all grown up now.
(There is a short pause.)
RORY: Shouldn’t you be getting back to the Diner?
JESS (lifts and eyebrow): Why so eager to get rid of me?
RORY: I’m not...It’s just...
JESS: It’s just what?
(He takes a step closer. She falters a bit, stepping backwards against the wall.)
RORY (distractedly): No- nothing.
(He reaches up and his fingers graze her cheek and lips. She relaxes slightly.)
RORY (hesitantly, trying to convince herself that it’s okay): You listen. Did you know that? You're always the one who listens. It's like you know what I'm thinking.
JESS (quietly): Yeah.
RORY (Looking at his lips): And you're always the one who's here. Your always there when I need you.
JESS (Whispered): I am.
(RORY reaches up, grabs the back of his head and pulls his face towards her, parting her lips as they meet each other. He feels her body go slack when one of his hands slides up her waist. The kiss deepens as their tongues duel. His hands slide under her shirt, caressing her stomach. The ringing of a phone snaps them back into reality. RORY jumps apart from him instantly.)
JESS: I didn’t mean to-
RORY (shell-shocked): It wasn’t your fault. (she pauses in thought) I have to answer that.
JESS: Yeah, you do.
(RORY grabs the phone. It’s DEAN, after a short discussion he announces that he will be coming over with some Ice Cream. She hangs up.)
RORY: That was-
JESS: Dean. Yeah, I figured.
RORY (while staring at the ground): Yeah.
JESS: So I should probably go.
RORY: Yeah probably.
(He begins to leave but stops and turns to her)
JESS: Rory I-
RORY: Not now. I don’t want to analyze it now.
JESS: Okay.
(He heads for the door.)
RORY (quietly): Bye Jess.
JESS: Bye Rory.
(He Leaves.)
CUT TO GILMORE HOME LATER THAT NIGHT
(DEAN and RORY are snuggled together on the couch. DEAN looks extremely content. RORY looks extremely distracted.)
DEAN (while looking at her happily): I’m sorry I ruined your alone night. I just really needed to see you, and look how great this turned out, huh?
RORY: Yeah...great.
DEAN (worriedly): Your not mad at me are you?
RORY: No, of coarse not.
DEAN: Good.
(He kisses her and they begin to ‘make out’ on the couch. He doesn’t notice that RORY is less then thrilled about the whole situation. His hands slide shakily up the back of her shirt and she pushes him away immediately.)
RORY (slightly annoyed): Dean!
DEAN: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push you. I just-
RORY (quickly): It’s fine.
(They pause for a second. DEAN looks embarrassed)
DEAN: Do you want me to leave?
RORY: Yeah, I think I just want to get to bed.
DEAN: I really am sorry. I promise I’ll ask ne-
RORY (cutting him off): I know.
(He gets up and heads for the door but turns around just before leaving)
DEAN (hopefully): I’ll see you tomorrow?
RORY: Yeah.
DEAN: Love you.
(RORY nods. DEAN leaves. She gets up off the couch and heads for her room, plopping down on the bed)
RORY (quietly to herself): What am I doing?
(She sighs and shuts off her light.)
(Scene fades out)
CUT TO LUKE’S DINER
(LORELAI and RORY are sitting at a table. JESS is at the counter. You can tell that he is listening to their conversation)
RORY: You actually got Grandma to steal a bathrobe?
LORELAI: Although I did catch her trying to return it while I was getting the car.
RORY: Still.
LORELAI: I know, life with my mother, one step forward, five thousand steps back. It’s kinda like the spastic polka.
(RORY laughs distractedly and takes another bite of her eggs)
LORELAI (cheerfully): So, what’s on the agenda for today?
RORY: Not sure. I planned on hanging out with Dean but after last night, I’m not so sure.
LORELAI (over-exaggerated): Dean came over last night? (RORY nods. LORELAI shakes her head) Not only did you not throw a keg party and not ruin the house, but you did the exact opposite of what I told you to! Dean’s about as far from a biker or low-life as you can get. I’m disappointed, Rory. How can I ever trust you again?
(She places a hand on her forehead dramatically, RORY smiles and shakes her head.)
LORELAI: So what did you guys do?
RORY (uncomfortably): Nothing really.
LORELAI (unconvinced): So why are you worried about seeing him then?
(You see JESS looking up, slightly interested.)
RORY: Well, we were kissing and he um...
LORELAI: He um, what?
RORY (quietly): He tried to (she points to her shirt) with his hands...
LORELAI: Oh...(she looks confused for a second but then you see understanding wash over her face) Oh!
RORY (slightly embarrassed): Yeah, and I kind of stopped him.
LORELAI: Wow, should I rip his arms off?
RORY: No, he apologized and then left. It was just really...awkward.
LORELAI: Well, I’m still going to talk to him.
(RORY gives her a look)
LORELAI (defensively): What? I’ll be nice!
RORY: Just don’t embarrass him. I think he was embarrassed enough already.
LORELAI: Okay, I promise to be nice. (pause) Well I got to get to work. I have mouths to fee, bills to pay...
RORY: I’ll see you later.
(LORELAI heads for the door but stops before exiting)
LORELAI (evilly): Can I at least get in a real serious tone and give him a lecture on safe sex? Maybe I can get him to blush. It’s so funny when guys blush.
RORY (warningly): Mom...
LORELAI: Fine. Your no fun.
(LORELAI leaves. RORY looks at the counter. She sees JESS and quickly looks down. Knowing she will have to pay for the food, she hesitantly gets up and heads in his direction.)
JESS (in monotone): That’ll be twelve-fifty.
(RORY sets some bills on the counter but doesn’t make eye contact. JESS begins to count it carelessly.)
RORY (suddenly): I’m sorry about yesterday.
JESS: No problem.
RORY: I don’t know what I was thinking.
JESS: It’s no biggie.
RORY: I’m still with Dean.
JESS: I figured.
RORY: I’m still in love with Dean.
JESS: Great.
RORY: Yeah.
(JESS hands RORY her change. He purposely brushes his hand against her. She shudders. JESS pretends not to notice)
CUT TO OUTSIDE
(Lorelai walks out of the diner. Dean is standing out front.)
LORELAI (cheerfully): Dean, hey.
DEAN (shaken up): Hey.
(He fidgets. LORELAI looks amused and a smile plays at her lips)
LORELAI (seriously): Sex is a wonderful and special thing that should only be shared by a couple that has been married twenty plus years.
(They pause)
DEAN (scared): She told you?
LORELAI: Oh yeah. Rory tells me everything.
DEAN (he stiffens): I know.
LORELAI: I’m not going to hit you, so you can calm down.
DEAN (while blushing slightly): Sorry.
LORELAI: But let it be known that if you ever touch her without consent I will do more then hit you.
DEAN: Okay.
LORELAI: Remember those dull hedge clippers we talked about?
DEAN: How could I forget?
LORELAI: Good, well as long as were clear. (she pats him on the back) Have a nice day.
DEAN: You to.
(They go there separate ways.)
(Fade out)
Dead Uncles and Break-Ups: Chapter Two Uncomplete
RECAP: We left off as RORY tells LORELAI about the little ‘mishap’ with DEAN. Little do they know of JESS’s eavesdropping. After LORELAI leaves RORY tells JESS she is still in love with DEAN and that the kiss was a mistake. Oddly enough, JESS accepts this. Later on, LORELAI is informed of the death of LUKE’s uncle LOUIE. Realizing that LUKE needs help putting together a funeral for said uncle, LORELAI and RORY decide to help him around the diner. The story picks up as LUKE talks on the phone, RORY and LORELAI are overwhelmed by the amount of customers.
(Fade in)
(LUKE is on the phone near the stairs. KIRK is at the counter. Various people are situated throughout the diner. LORELAI is pouring coffee. RORY is taking orders.)
KIRK (while pounding his fist on the table): I want service.
LORELAI (while pouring someone else a coffee): Hang on a second.
KIRK (chants) : Service! Service! Service!
LORELAI: Kirk!
KIRK: Come on everyone, join me! Service! Servi-
(He is stops as a creamer packet hits him in the forehead.)
KIRK (distressed): Who threw that?
(He looks behind at RORY and LORELAI who are both going about their work innocently. He looks back down at the counter)
LUKE (while covering the phone with his hand): Sorry about this.
LORELAI: It's okay.
LUKE: Sometimes you get the world’s full of people who micromanage their lives to the point where they can't wait an extra second for anything.
LORELAI (matter-of-factly): We're running out of coffee.
LUKE: I'll make some more.
LORELAI: No, I got it.
LUKE: Do you know how?
LORELAI: Do I –
LUKE: Forget it. Stupid question.
KIRK: I still need my coffee!
(LORELAI sighs and pours him a cup. He sniffs it)
LORELAI: Good?
KIRK: It’s like I died and went to heaven, and then they realized it wasn’t my time so they sent me back to earth and I just got a fresh cup of coffee at Luke's.
(LORELAI stares at him blankly. He continues to sip. More cries for ‘service’ are heard throughout the diner.)
LORELAI: Hey Luke, where's Jess?
Luke (distractedly): I don't know.
LORELAI (amusedly): School?
LUKE: Oh Please. He’s probably upstairs.
LORELAI: Really? Rory, go get sleeping beauty and tell him to get his ass downstairs.
RORY: I’m on my way.
(RORY disappears behind the curtain leading up the stairs.)
KIRK (while handing LORELAI his cup): It's too strong.
LORELAI: No, it's not.
KIRK (defiantly): Yes, it is.
LORELAI (annoyed): You said it was fine. You said it was like dying and then coming back and then…doing something else that I can’t remember right now but will in a few seconds…
LUKE: He’s right you know, not everybody likes it that strong.
LORELAI: Well, then I shall convert them. I am the Jehovah's coffee girl.
KIRK: But I’m catholic.
(LORELAI hits him with another creamer)
KIRK (triumphantly): I knew it was you! You can’t fo-
(She holds another creamer up threateningly and he looks back down at the counter quietly)
CUT TO UPSTAIRS
(Rory knocks timidly on Luke’s apartment door. There is no answer. She waits a few seconds and then hesitantly walks in)
RORY: Jess?
(She finds him sitting on chair watching an old TV show)
RORY: Luke needs you downstairs.
Jess (without looking up): Huh.
RORY: He's on the phone with someone and Caesar's off today and the place is packed and he needs help.
JESS: I'll be down in a minute.
RORY: No, now.
(She pulls on the sleeve of his shirt in an attempt to get him to move. JESS grabs her arm and pulls her down into his lap. He places his hands on her neck and dragged his fingernails along the line of her collarbone. She just sits there bewildered. He slides his hands down her arms, cupping her elbows and lifting her toward him, crushing her lips to him, capturing her mouth and plunging his tongue deep inside. She doesn’t resist as he clamps a hand against the small of her back, pressing her against him. Her hands move to his hair, as his hands move up the back of her shirt, caressing the skin along her spine.He’s testing her and she whimpers softly, pushing into him further. After a while, they break apart for air and Rory looks at him, shocked. She immediately jumps off of him.)
RORY (startled): What- How- Wh-Why did you do that?
JESS (simply): I just needed to know something.
RORY: What?
JESS: I heard you and your mom talking about Dean and I was just curious.
RORY (annoyed): About what?
JESS: About that fact that you say you love him and then when he tries something with you, you freak out. You say that kissing me is a mistake but then when I try something with you, you respond. Quite eagerly, I might add.
Rory (desperately): Don’t.
JESS: Don’t what?
RORY(quietly): I don’t know.
(She quickly turns and leaves the room. Jess watches her leave and then after a short pause, gets up to follow her.)
CUT TO THE DINER
KIRK: I need some more Equal.
LORELAI: There’s one right there.
KIRK: I need seven
LORELAI: Seven? You’re not squirreling these away in your pocket for home use, are you, Kirk?
KIRK: No, I use seven in my coffee.
LORELAI: Okay, good, then allow me.
(She rips open seven Equals but spills them all over KIRK as RORY comes running down the stairs and out of the dinner. LORELAI stares after her, confused.)
KIRK: Hey!
LORELAI (distractedly): Oh sorry.
KIRK: Your lucky this doesn’t stain because my Mom said if I ruin anymore of my good shirts she’s going to take it out of my allowance.
(Jess stumbles into the diner)
LORELAI: Well, you’re very graceful.
JESS (shortly): Thanks.
(LORELAI smiles at his expense)
JESS(annoyed): I could have broken my neck.
LORELAI: As long as it’s not your arm. I’m putting your arm to good use.
(She hands him the coffee pot, he begins to walk off with it)
LORELAI: Not so fast. What did you do to my daughter?
JESS: Nothing.
LORELAI (suspiciously): Uh huh. Then why did she just run out of here like Speedy Gonzalez on a sugar pill?
JESS: Don’t know.
(He goes to serve coffee before she can question him further. She eyes him suspiciously for a second, before turning back to KIRK who is still trying to shake all the sweetener of his shirt)
CUT TO MS. PATTY’S
(Taylor is at the podium leading a town meeting. JESS and LUKE are sitting amongst the audience)
TAYLOR: Harry’s House of Twinkle Lights has been an integral part of this time for twenty years, so it’s only right that we honor his retirement. So I hereby designate next Tuesday, Harry the Twinkle Light Man from Harry’s House of Twinkle Lights Day.
JESS: Well, that just trips off the tongue.
(LORELAI walks in with Rory in tow, She notices JESS next to LUKE and immediately looks down at the ground.)
TAYLOR: Late again, are we?
LORELAI: Nope, only once.
(She gives RORY a light squeeze and smiles. TAYLOR looks confused)
TAYLOR: What?
LORELAI: Do you have a sister Taylor?
TAYLOR: Why, no I don’t.
LORELAI: Well once a month women go through a beautiful time period-
(LORELAI grins evilly as RORY pulls her into a chair, stopping her from finishing the sentence)
LORELAI: Do you mind If we sit here kind sir?
LUKE: As long as you don’t get into a conversation on the wonders of puberty. I had two sisters, I definitely don’t need to relive that again.
LORELAI: You never told me you had two sisters.
LUKE: You never asked.
JESS: And you don’t want to.
LUKE: She’s in jail. Serial arsonist.
JESS: She was mad at her boyfriend for skipping out an a date and there was nothing on TV so she decided to start her apartment on fire.
LUKE: Which in turn, led to the burning down of all the apartment buildings in the area. And meanwhile she just sits out on the curb cackling and rambling on about ‘I Love Lucy’ It was really disturbing.
JESS: Kind of like Nero playing the harp while Rome was burning behind him.
LUKE: I don’t think she ever really had a clue about what was going on around her.
JESS: Yeah, she always used to call me Mike. Every time I’d see her she’d say ‘Hi little Mike!’ and I’d say “My Name is Jess.’ And She’d say “Of coarse it is sweetheart.’ ruffle my hair and walk off.
LUKE: She used to talk in her sleep. It scared the crap out of me. I’d wake up in the middle of the night to her screaming at Russell about her blocks. She didn’t even know anyone named Russell.
JESS: She’d always pick the eggs out of the egg salad and eat the tiny bits of potatoes even if there was potato salad on the table. It was annoying.
(LORELAI watches on amused, noticing their frightening similarities.)
LUKE: What?
LORELAI (while smiling): Nothing.
TAYLOR (loudly): I’m gonna take advantage of this unexpected pause in our proceedings to confer with Miss Patty about the next item on our agenda.
(As TAYLOR continues to talk DEAN enters from the back..)
DEAN (to RORY): Hey.
RORY (worriedly): Hey…
LORELAI: So, to what do we owe your presence?
JESS: My guess would be inbreeding probably.
(DEAN glares at him. RORY throws him a look. He doesn’t seem to notice)
TAYLOR (while putting on a pair of glasses): All right now, the last order of business is a matter relating personally to me, therefore-
MS. PATTY (interrupts him): Are those new glasses Taylor?
TAYLOR: There only for reading.
MS. PATTY: They’re very nice.
BABETTE (matter-of-factly): They take the attention of your hair.
KIRK (scared, as if just noticing this for the first time): He doesn’t have any hair!
(LORELAI and RORY watch on happily, enjoying the town’s banter)
DEAN (To Rory): Are they seriously having a discussion about Taylor’s glasses?
RORY (while watching amused): I think so.
LORELAI: Although, they are kind of sliming.
RORY: That’s true. It's all about the Dork nowadays.
(They pause. Lorelai smiles)
RORY: That sounded kind of dirty, didn’t it?
LORELAI: I’m am so proud of you. (She nudges Luke) Did you hear that? Rory said something dirty.
JESS: Alert the media.
(He looks at her. She blushes slightly and looks away.)
TAYLOR (annoyed): Excuse me? Are any of you listening to a word I’m saying?
LORELAI: Yeah, it’s a shame. All those little kids in that bus. When will there be peace?
TAYLOR (confused): What?
LORELAI: Some people are just mean.
KIRK: Yeah, and the only way to find out why is to get real close to them. And then they just spit on you and no one wants to get spit on.
LORELAI: Kinda makes you think doesn’t it?
TAYLOR: Your all being very immature.
LUKE: This is what happens when you stick a bunch of freaks in one cramped room together for a long period of time.
KIRK: Can we hurry this up? It’s spaghetti night and if I’m early mom let’s me grate the cheese..
TAYLOR: This is useless.
LORELAI: And boring.
RORY: Just bang your gavel so we can get out of here!
LORELAI: Twice in one day, I really am impressed.
RORY: You’re a bad influence.
(Lorelai just smiles.)
CUT TO LUKE’S- After the Town Meeting
(Lorelai and Rory are eating pie at the counter. Luke is across from them. Rory looks out of it. Lorelai looks especially upbeat)
LORELAI: You need some coffee.
LUKE: No, I do not need coffee.
LORELAI: If you’re turning down coffee, then yes you do need coffee.
LUKE: I don’t drink coffee.
LORELAI: Well it’s never to soon to start.
RORY (to Luke): Is Jess upstairs?
(LORELAI looks at her strangely.)
RORY: He borrowed my...my book and I need to get it back...for school.
LUKE: Yeah he’s probably up there sleeping, or sitting on the couch thinking about doing something but too lazy to actually get up and do it.
RORY (gesturing towards the stairs): Can I?
LUKE: Yeah but if he’s asleep there’s a bucket under the sink.
RORY (slightly confused): Okay.
(She exits. Lorelai holds up her cup to Luke’s face)
LORELAI: Just smell it.
LUKE: No.
LORELAI: Just one, little sip and I promise your life will never be the same again.
LUKE: No.
LORELAI: Just try it.
LUKE: No.
(The continue to argue as the camera zooms out.)
CUT TO STAIRS
(Rory heads hesitantly up the stairs, the door is open and she lets herself in. She spots Jess on the couch and a sense of déjà vu sweeps over her. She stays where she is and decides it’s best to just talk from there.)
RORY: We need to talk.
JESS: Really? About what?
RORY: Jess, please just try to be serious.
(He gets up and walks over to her, leaning against the wall.)
JESS: Okay.
RORY: Okay?
JESS: Yeah, let’s talk.
(There is a pause. Neither speak)
RORY (hopefully): Can you start?
(JESS laughs softly and looks at her. She continues to stare at her shoes)
JESS: You’re going to have to look up sometime you know.
RORY: What?
Jess: You haven’t made eye contact with me since this morning.
RORY: Well, I’m still a little…confused.
(He takes a step forward, she still doesn’t look up.)
JESS: Confused?
RORY: Yeah.
JESS: Why?
(She finally looks up, making eye contact with him.)
RORY (exasperatedly): Because you kissed me.
JESS: Just returning the favor.
RORY (annoyed): Jess, I’m trying to be serious.
JESS: And I’m not?
RORY: Why did you kiss me?
JESS: Why did you kiss me?
RORY (slightly angry): Don’t do that!
JESS: Do what?
RORY: Double talk!
(He looks at her seriously for a second)
JESS: Honestly? (She nods but says nothing) I just wanted to.
RORY: Oh.
JESS: Yeah.
(He looks at her, waiting for a response. She catches his eye and stammers)
RORY (shaken up): I didn’t want- I mean, I was- It was an accident!
JESS (amused): So you didn’t want to kiss me?
(He moves closer to her and traces the outline of her lips with his finger. Gently sweeping it over her upper lip.)
RORY: No, of coarse...(gulp)...not.
JESS: Uh huh.
(His hands drop and she expects him to let go of her, but instead he lowers his head down and lightly brushes his lips against hers. RORY tries to fight the urge to kiss him back but she fails. He pulls her bottom lip in between his and sucks on it gently. RORY responds eagerly and JESS soon separates his lips from hers. He places his arm over her shoulder, effectively pinning her to the wall.)
JESS (into her ear): Now see, if you really didn’t want this, you wouldn’t have been a willing partner in that.
RORY (quietly): I don’t know what I want.
(With that, his lips came down on hers roughly, with more force than the previous time. He pushed his tongue through her lips and she obliges shyly, her own tongue coming up to meet his. She can feel his hands on the small of her back as he breaks the kiss and moves lower, sucking on the hollow of her neck.)
JESS: If you don’t want this, tell me to stop.
(He moved to lick behind her ear and she can’t concentrate.)
RORY (breathlessly): Don’t.
JESS: Don’t what?
(She forgets to reply as Jess kisses her lightly behind the ear before pulling it into his mouth and tugging at it with his teeth. She is completely bewildered that something so small can affect her this way. She tries to stay silent as he continues nibbling and sucking at the sensitive skin.)
JESS: Don’t what?
(He continues to kiss her, obviously enjoying the strong hold he has over her a little too much.)
RORY (anxiously): Don’t stop.
JESS (slightly amused): What about Dean?
RORY: I don’t- (She stops as his lips seek her neck once again and she whimpers) –know.
JESS: You don’t know?
(He continues nibbling and sucking at her neck until her breathing is coming in short gasps)
RORY (catching her breath): Yes.
JESS (innocently): Yes, as in yes you do know or yes as in yes you don’t know?
(His lips travel over her neck, teasing her. She shudders involuntarily, her eyes closed.)
RORY: Yes.
JESS: You seem distracted. Is this a bad time?
(She can feel him smirking against her neck and it’s driving her crazy)
RORY (helplessly): Jess...
(He places his hand under her chin and pulls it upward, meeting his gaze. She looks at him expectantly, he does nothing, waiting for her to react. She looks from his eyes to his lips like she’s caught in some internal debate. Finally, she gives in and presses her lips to his. He kisses her softly before lightly pushing his tongue between her parted lips. She responds eagerly by clutching his shirt in her hand. Realizing the danger in this situation, he pulls back resting his forehead on hers. They stay like this for a few seconds, steadying their breathing.)
RORY (quietly): What do you want me to do?
JESS: You can kiss me again. That’s always nice.
RORY (ignoring him): Do you want me to break up with Dean?
JESS (sarcastically): No, of course not. I want you to live happily ever after and walk off, holding hands, into the sunset together.
RORY: I don’t know how to break up with people.
JESS: Just tell him you’ve been searching around and finally found a good replacement.
RORY: I can’t tell him that.
JESS: How about you just kiss me in front of him. He’s not too smart but I think he’ll get the hint.
RORY: That’s cruel.
JESS: Yeah well, I’ve had to watch you kiss him and I survived.
RORY: You should have just told me.
JESS: I don’t just tell people things.
RORY: It would have been a lot easier.
JESS: I think I’m fine with this.
(He does to kiss her again but she puts her hand on his chest, stopping him)
RORY: Not until I break up with Dean.
JESS: Feeling guilty?
RORY: Yes, and it’s all your fault.
JESS (simply): You kissed me first.
RORY (stubbornly): That was your fault too.
JESS: Hey, I was just standing there.
RORY: You were leaning, not standing, leaning. There’s a difference.
JESS: Uh huh.
RORY: There is! You do that whole leaning thing and then you put on that look, like your staring right through me. It’s like you know what I’m thinking and I get this really weird feeling. And then my brain shuts down and my body has a mind of it’s own.
(JESS lifts an eyebrow at her. She looks slightly embarrassed.)
RORY (childishly): Shut up.
JESS: I didn’t say anything.
RORY: You were thinking something.
JESS: I was thinking that maybe you shouldn’t be telling me this. Information like that could be used against you in the future.
RORY (stubbornly): Stop.
JESS: What?
(She stops for a second, thinking)
RORY: How do you break up with your girlfriends?
JESS: And you said segue wasn’t my thing.
RORY: Do you just walk over to them and say ‘we’re over’ or do you tell them you want to be friends?
(He sighs, giving up)
JESS: Just tell him that you’re ‘drifting apart’
RORY: Isn’t that a little overused?
JESS: Well, It’s better then ‘Let’s just be friends’
RORY: What if I just tell him the truth?
JESS: That’s not a good idea.
RORY (ignoring him): Yeah, I’ll just explain everything to him and he’ll understand.
(She moves towards the door.)
JESS: Can you at least take a picture? That way I’ll have some dirt on him when he comes to kick my ass.
RORY: Bye Jess.
JESS: And I always wanted to see Dean cry.
(She leaves. Jess sighs and shakes his head.)
CUT TO LUKE'S DOWNSTAIRS
(Rory runs down the stairs and out the door. Lorelai stares after her, curiously)
Lorelai: I wonder what Jess did this time.
Luke: How do you know Jess did something?
Lorelai: Well Rory just ran down the stairs, seemingly upset. The only person upstairs is Jess. So unless you’ve got a wife and kids up there that I don’t know about, Jess is the culprit.
Luke: He wouldn’t do anything to Rory.
(He looks at the stairs for a second, in thought)
Luke (nervously): Would he?
Lorelai: I don’t know. They’ve both been acting strange around each other lately. This is the second time that Rory has come running down those stairs. If I didn’t know any better I’d think...
Luke: What?
Lorelai: Well, the only time Rory ever runs from a guy is if she gets kissed.
Luke: No, Jess wouldn’t...Jess doesn’t kiss girls.
(Lorelai lifts an eyebrow at him.)
Luke: What? He doesn’t.
Lorelai: He’s 17. I’m pretty sure he’s kissed a girl before.
Luke: But...(pauses in thought) Dammit! He kissed her! He kissed Rory!
(The customers turn and look at him oddly.)
Lorelai: Luke, keep it down.
Luke: This isn’t good. I’m going to have to talk to him. What if he’s been having sex? I’ll need to talk to him about that too. How am I supposed to talk to Jess about sex?
Lorelai (amused): Use Barbie’s, that’s what I did.
Luke: I don’t have any Barbie’s! I’m a grown man for Christ’s sake!
Lorelai: I was joking.
Luke: You think this is funny?
Lorelai: Yeah, kinda.
Luke: Well, it’s not!
Lorelai (fake seriousness): You’re right. I was being insensitive.
Luke: I’ve got to talk to him before he does something stupid.
(He heads for the stairs, Lorelai watches amused and then follows suit.)
CUT TO LUKE’S APARTMENT
(Jess is listening to music and reading when Luke bursts into the apartment.)
LUKE: You are not having sex!
JESS (without looking up): Very observant.
LUKE (stammering): I didn’t mean- What I meant was-
(Jess puts his book down and looks at Luke, extremely amused.)
Jess: What you meant was what?
Luke: We need to talk.
Jess: About...?
Luke: Reproduction.
Jess (curiously): Okay.
Luke: Sex is...sex is good.
Jess: It is?
Luke: Yeah it is...but you should only have it...when...when you’re old.
Jess: Uh huh.
Luke: I mean you’ll still get some sort of...pleasure out of it when you’re young...but it’s better when you’re old.
Jess: That’s good to know.
Luke: Yeah and you should always love the person before you...you know, have it.
Jess: I’ll have to remember that.
Luke: And there’s always a risk with getting the girl pregnant and you should always use...protection.
Jess (fake confusion): Protection?
Luke: Yeah like a condom...or something.
(There is a pause. Neither speak, Luke shifts around uncomfortably, Jess doesn’t try to make is easier for him.)
Luke: Well I guess that’s it.
Jess: What, no diagrams?
Luke (worriedly): No, I don’t have any diagrams. I could get some...if you really need them.
(Jess lifts an eyebrow at him)
Luke: You were joking?
Jess: Yeah.
Luke (While walking backwards towards the door): Okay, well I’m going to go...back down to the Diner.
Jess: I’m glad we had this talk.
(He watches as Luke stumbles out of the door. He smiles and shakes his head.)
(Cut to hallway.)
(Luke exits the apartment to find a laughing Lorelai on the other side)
Lorelai: You were going to get him diagrams?
Luke (as he walks past her): Shut up.
Lorelai (following him): Oh, don’t be embarrassed I’m sure they sell them at Doose’s!
(Cut to Forester’s Home)
(Rory is pacing outside of Dean’s house. She walks up to the door, loses her nerve, and then walks back. She does this numerous times before she finally works up the courage and knocks. No one appears and just as she is about to leave MR. FORESTER comes to the door.)
MR. FORESTER (pleasantly): Oh hello Rory, we were just having Diner.
RORY: Oh.
(There is a silence. Rory shifts uncomfortably.)
MR. FORESTER: Well don’t just stand there, come in.
RORY: I don’t know, I mean, I don’t want to be any trouble.
MR. FORESTER: Nonsense, it’s no trouble at all.
(He motions for her to enter and she follows him into the house. In dining room, Dean and family are chatting and eating supper. Mr. Forester sits. Rory looks around awkwardly, unmoving.)
Mr. Forester (hopefully): You can sit if you want.
Rory: Are you sure this isn’t too much trouble? I mean, I can just come back later.
Mrs. Forester: Oh, stop that crazy talk, you know you’re welcome here whenever you want.
Rory: Okay...
Mrs. Forester (while lifting up the bowl): Mashed potatoes?
Rory: No thanks.
Mr. Forester: We haven’t seen you in ages.
Rory: I’ve been real busy with school and...stuff.
Mrs. Forester: Dean tells us you’re going to Harvard.
Rory: If I get in.
Dean (proudly): She’ll get in.
Mrs. Forester: Isn’t Harvard a four year college?
Rory: Sometimes, yeah.
Mrs. Forester (teasingly): Well what are you going to do with all the kids?
Dean (groaning): Mom...
Mrs. Forester (happily): Dean plans to have six kids. Did you know that?
Rory: No, he never said anything.
Mrs. Forester: Aw look at her, she’s all embarrassed. She’s so pretty when she blushes, isn’t she pretty when she blushes?
Dean: Yeah, she sure is.
Mrs. Forester: You’re kids are going to be beautiful.
Dean (urgently): Can we change the subject now?
Mrs. Forester (under her breath): I was just being polite.
Mr. Forester: So Clara, how was school.
Clara: Good! I finally finished my clay bowl. I put sparklies on it and carved my name on the side. It’s blue.
Mr. Forester: That’s nice honey.
Clara: Yeah, my teacher said it was probably the best one in the class.
(Rory fidgets while Clara continues to talk.)
Clara: Then Bobby came over and started calling me ‘Teacher’s pet’. But he’s just jealous.
Mrs. Forester: He probably just has a crush on you sweetheart.
Clara (while making a face): No way, he’s gross.
(They continue to talk, Rory continues to fidget, until she suddenly cracks.)
Rory (abruptly, loudly): I kissed Jess.
Dean: What?
Rory (scared): I’ve gotta go.
(She gets up and runs out. The family stares after her confused. Dean looks angry.)
(Rory runs down the porch steps as Dean appears at the door and calls after her.)
Dean: Rory, wait!
Rory: I can’t…not now.
(He grabs her arm, stopping her from leaving)
Dean: Where are you going?
Rory (looking at him): I don’t know.
DEAN: Did you really kiss Jess?
RORY: I wouldn’t lie about something like that.
DEAN: Oh.
Rory (awkwardly): Yeah.
Dean: So you cheated on me?
Rory (quietly): Yes.
(There is an awkward silence)
Dean (angrily): Are you at least sorry?
RORY: What? Of coarse I’m sorry! I never wanted to hurt you. It just happened.
DEAN: He’s an @#%$.
RORY: He didn’t do anything. I kissed him. It’s not like he had me brainwashed. If you knew me like you say you do then you would realize that it’s almost impossible to manipulate me.
DEAN: You wouldn’t cheat on me! It had to be something he did.
Rory: I did it! Me! Why is that so hard to believe?
DEAN: Because you love me. (realization washes over him) Is this about the other night because I swear, I’m not trying to pressure you-
Rory (suddenly): I kissed him three times!
DEAN: Excuse me?
RORY: I kissed Jess three times.
DEAN: What did I do to deserve this? Is this punishment for something?
RORY: What are you talking about? It has nothing to do with you!
DEAN: Oh my God, he’s seduced you!
Rory (warningly): Dean…
DEAN: He’s trying to take away everything I have, one step at a time. First you, then my friends, work and school.
RORY: Can you even think for one second that the world doesn’t revolve around you?
DEAN: You wouldn’t understand. You’re too naive.
Rory: What is that supposed to mean?
Dean (while beginning to pace): He’s trying to corrupt you, pull you away from me. It’s not going to work. I won’t let it.
Rory (angry): Dean! You’re not listening!
DEAN: You have to choose.
Rory: What?
Dean: Choose, me or him.
(She looks at him, her eyes wide. She opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out. She closes it again.)
Dean: Come on, It’s not that hard! I love you and he…he doesn’t!
Rory: Dean, I can’t…
Dean: Yes you can!
Rory: No, It’s not that easy.
(He looks at her, slightly unnerved. She looks at the ground.)
Dean (calmly): Who do you want?
Rory: I want…
Dean: Just say it, I won’t be mad.
Rory: Jess, I want Jess.
Dean (while backing away slightly): Right.
Rory: I’m sorry.
(She looks at him sadly and he turns around, walking away.)
Dean: Just know that if you sleep with him and you don’t like it, I’ll take you back.
(Her head springs up to look at him, not sure whether to feel angry or guilty. He continues to walk away.)
CUT TO GILMORE HOME
(RORY is seated on the couch, eyes puffy, tissues in hand. LORELAI walks through the door happily.)
Lorelai: Lucy! You’ve some ‘splainin to do!
(She throws her keys on the counter and heads for the fridge, looks inside and then shuts it. She heads for the cupboard instead.)
Lorelai (while opening a pack of pop-tarts and entering the living room): You missed everything. Luke tried to give Jess the sex talk and of course Jess was being impossible, but it was so funny. You should have seen the look on Luke's face. (She sits next to her on the couch) He was actually blushing. I’ve never seen Luke blush before. (She notices something’s not right) You okay?
(Rory looks at her, eyes red. She’s been crying.)
Rory (unconvincingly, while rubbing her eyes): Yeah.
Lorelai: You don’t look okay.
Rory (while ringing her hands): Me and Dean broke up.
Lorelai (stunned): What?
Rory: I told him that I kissed Jess and he told me to choose. (she tries to keep her voice neutral) I chose Jess.
(Lorelei looks at her, confused, as she continues to talk.)
Rory: It wasn’t supposed to be so hard. I wanted to be with Jess, I want to be with Jess. Dean, he just doesn’t understand. I feel something for Jess that I never felt for him. He thinks it’s Jess’s fault, that he seduced me. He’s wrong. (She’s suddenly annoyed and begins to talk faster) Why did he say that? Why did he have to make me feel like this? ‘If you sleep with him and you don’t like it, I’ll take you back.’ What is that supposed to mean anyway? (She pauses to take a breath. Lorelai looks at her, even more confused then before.)
Lorelai: You’ve lost me.
Rory: Sorry.
LORELAI: Let’s start from the beginning. (She takes a deep breath) You kissed Jess?
RORY: Three times.
LORELAI (slightly taken aback): Wow.
Rory: I didn’t mean to, he just…I can’t explain it. Every time he looks at me it’s like my brain freezes over, my body gets a mind of it’s own. And it’s not just that. We talk about books and music and he’s always knows how to make me smile even when I’m really mad at him. You’d think it would be annoying but it’s not and Dean…Dean thinks books are boring. Dean wants to marry me and have six kids. Six! What does he think a women is, a Pez dispenser?
(Lorelai looks at her, trying to digest all the information. She appears concerned as she looks at Rory)
Rory: Are you mad?
LORELAI: About what?
Rory: Jess, I kissed Jess. You hate Jess.
Lorelai: I’m just surprised. I mean, one minute you’re happy with Dean and then the next your kissing Jess. I wish you would have told me but I’m not mad.
Rory: It just happened so fast.
LORELAI: I understand.
Rory: And I don’t want you to be mad at him about this. It was my decision.
LORELAI: I know but there’s going to be rules, Rory. You chose Jess and Jess is definitely not Dean.
Rory: Okay.
Lorelai: And you can’t expect everything at once. You know I’m not Jess’s biggest fan and I doubt he’s that fond of me either.
Rory (thoughtfully): I know.
(They lay back against the couch and Lorelai puts her arm around Rory’s shoulder for comfort. They stare ahead of them, both in thought)
Lorelai: You okay now?
Rory: Yeah, just a little shacken up.
Lorelai (happily): I know just the thing to cheer you up.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: How does a funeral sound to you?
(Rory looks at her like she’s crazy. Lorelai just smiles.)
CUT TO Luke's: Later that night.
(Jess is at the counter with Caesar in back. The Diner is empty and he is playing cards. Dean walks in and calmly takes a seat at the counter. Jess doesn’t look up.)
Dean: You think you’ve won don’t you?
(Silence)
Dean: You think she’s all yours and I’m just going to step back and let you take her. You’re wrong.
Jess (amused): I am?
Dean: I’m going to get her back, you just wait.
Jess: I willing to bet that I’ll be waiting a really long time.
Dean (annoyed): You think you’re funny?
Jess: Occasionally.
(Dean glares at him unable to respond and then smiles triumphantly)
Dean (condescending): Well, don’t just stand there. Take my order. That is your job isn’t it? Serving people?
(Jess looks at him, still highly amused at Dean’s pathetic attempts to anger him, takes out his order pad and stands at the counter.)
Dean: I’ll take three burgers, medium rare with ketchup, mustard, onion, relish, and horseradish on a sesame seed bun, a piece of apple pie, light on the bread crumbs, a cherry coke with six ice cubes and a lemon on the side.
Jess: That all?
Dean: I’m not sure. Let me finish that off and see how I feel.
(Jess nods and heads for the kitchen but turns around before entering)
Jess: Oh and Dean?
Dean (annoyed): What?
Jess: You really think gaining 20 pounds is the best way to win Rory back?
(Dean just glares at him. Jess shakes his head, smirking, as he exits.)
FADE OUT
Edited by: EncartaQueen at: 22/4/05 5:56 pm
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